Good morning everyone,
\nToday\u2019s newsletter is a big deal for me.
\nDuring my cancer treatment, many thought I had lost hope because of the diagnosis. But that wasn\u2019t true. I never really lost hope during therapy\u2014well, not entirely. I did lose hope for about an hour when I was told my treatment plan had to change without an immediate explanation of what the new plan would be. That uncertainty stressed me out and caused a temporary lapse in hope, but once I established my own plan, I got back on track quickly.
\nI have gone through a couple of other crises as a manager, an athlete, and a patient. But I don’t want this to be all about me\u2014these are different stories for another time. However, it is the reason behind today\u2019s topic.<\/p>\n
Today\u2019s topic comes from the fact that I\u2019ve lately been talking to several people navigating their own crises: a manager feeling burnt out, a friend with a new cancer diagnosis, and an athlete who just tore his ACL. All of this in only the first couple of days of the new year! Crazy times!
\nOver the weekend, I was reflecting on these conversations and remembered a strategy I learned during my training to become a psychosocial coach. It\u2019s also mentioned in a book we were assigned years later during a senior management program.
\nSo I felt the need to share some thoughts on how to best navigate tough times. It doesn\u2019t matter if you\u2019re a manager on the brink of burnout, a patient with a serious diagnosis, or an athlete facing months of rehab; crises usually come from external factors we cannot control. We can\u2019t influence these factors\u2014they are out of our hands. I will come back to that.<\/p>\n
Cognitive Tunnel Vision
\nToday, let\u2019s talk about how to get through a crisis and see the light at the end of the tunnel. In a crisis, we often develop \u201ccognitive tunnel vision\u201d, focusing only on what is dragging us down. We struggle to see the positive because we are overwhelmed by negativity. It feels like we are investing all our energy but making no progress, which makes the ultimate goal seem impossible or too far away.
\nThe Stockdale Paradox<\/p>\n
Just thinking positively isn\u2019t enough. <\/p>\n
The Stockdale Paradox\u2014named after James Stockdale, a high-ranking naval officer who spent seven years as a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War\u2014teaches us something vital.
\nWhen Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, interviewed Stockdale, he asked who didn\u2019t make it out of the camps. Surprisingly, Stockdale answered, \u201cThe optimists\u201d. That shocked me the first time I heard it, because I always considered myself a big optimist. Or at least, that is what I thought I was.
\nThe first people to break were the optimists who believed they\u2019d be freed by Christmas, then Easter, then Thanksgiving. When those dates passed without rescue, they died of a broken heart.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end\u2014which you can never afford to lose\u2014with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.\u201d \u2014 Admiral James Stockdale<\/p>\n
The lesson is that you must separate faith from timelines. You need an unwavering belief that you will succeed in the end, while simultaneously possessing the discipline to face the harsh realities of your current situation without flinching.
\nBlind Optimism vs. Grounded Hope
\nIn leadership and endurance sports, we distinguish between these two:<\/p>\n
Blind Optimism
\nIgnores the difficulty and heaviness of the task, leading to a \u201ccrash\u201d when reality hits.<\/p>\n
Grounded Hope (The Paradox)
\nAccepts the brutal fact that current situation is incredibly difficult while maintaining a rock-solid belief that the ultimate goal will be achieved.<\/p>\n
How to Apply This
\nDuring therapy or any challenging time, setbacks are normal. They are as certain as the \u201camen\u201d at the end of a prayer\u2014they will come. You need a belief so strong that it helps you look past these hurdles. Let\u00b4s tackle this step-by-step:<\/p>\n
Remove yourself from the timeline
\nWhether you\u2019re a manager struggling with quarterly numbers, an athlete in rehab, or a patient undergoing months of treatment\u2014stop tying your hope to a specific date. Free yourself from the pressure of a fixed time commitment. I know this sounds tough and impossible!<\/p>\n
Define what you can control
\nI promised to come back to the fact that we cannot control the external factors that lead to a crisis. However, we always have the option to focus on something within our reach. James Stockdale, for instance, created a simple \u201ctap code\u201d so prisoners could communicate through walls. As a manager, you can focus on constructive 1:1s with your team members. As a patient, you can focus on reading one book per month. As an athlete, you can focus to learn more about biohacking to support your recovery. These are just examples. Find something simple that you can control and own it.<\/p>\n
Radical acceptance of \u201ccrappy\u201d feelings
\nStop sugarcoating things. Accept reality as it is. Reality might be that you won\u2019t turn the team around immediately, that therapy won\u2019t end after the second cycle, or that your torn ACL means missing the entire season. It\u2019s tough. It\u2019s hard. But you must accept it!<\/p>\n
This approach will help you move through your crisis. But there is one more thing you should do:<\/p>\n
Turn the \u201cimpossible\u201d goal into a side effect
\nStop obsessing over reaching one specific goal at one specific time and focus on the \u201cWHY\u201d behind it.<\/p>\n
Managers: Think about your impact as a leader rather than just hitting numbers next quarter.<\/p>\n
Athletes: Focus on your long-term legacy rather than just the daily grind of rehab.<\/p>\n
Patients: Think about what gives you hope\u2014whether it\u2019s walking your daughter down the aisle or finishing the book you\u2019ve always wanted to write.<\/p>\n
By focusing on your \u201cWHY\u201d, immediate challenges become secondary side effects. This approach helps you step out of crisis mode by finding your bigger purpose.
\nOne book that I can highly recommend and that has helped me after my cancer therapy is the Big Five for Life from John Strelecky. Enjoy reading it! <\/p>\n
All the best,
\nBernhard<\/p>\n
P.S. I\u2019m currently on a multi-year journey to swim The Alpine Seven\u2014339 km across seven iconic lakes\u2014to prove that our maps are always bigger than we think. If you want to join me as I navigate these waters and share what I learn about leadership, resilience, and turning \u201cimpossible\u201d goals into reality, hit the button below.<\/p>\n
Subscribe for more reflections on leadership, crisis, and building a life where \u201cimpossible\u201d goals become a side effect!<\/p>\n
P.P.S. I plan to send this out every Friday morning 5 am CET. But as this is a human-to-human connection, please bear with me if life (or my kids) decides to \u201creorganize\u201d my schedule. I\u2019m a pretty good swimmer, but I haven\u2019t figured out how to swim through a family emergency at a good speed yet! \ud83d\ude09<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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