Good morning everyone,
Today’s newsletter is a big deal for me.
During my cancer treatment, many thought I had lost hope because of the diagnosis. But that wasn’t true. I never really lost hope during therapy—well, not entirely. I did lose hope for about an hour when I was told my treatment plan had to change without an immediate explanation of what the new plan would be. That uncertainty stressed me out and caused a temporary lapse in hope, but once I established my own plan, I got back on track quickly.
I have gone through a couple of other crises as a manager, an athlete, and a patient. But I don’t want this to be all about me—these are different stories for another time. However, it is the reason behind today’s topic.
Today’s topic comes from the fact that I’ve lately been talking to several people navigating their own crises: a manager feeling burnt out, a friend with a new cancer diagnosis, and an athlete who just tore his ACL. All of this in only the first couple of days of the new year! Crazy times!
Over the weekend, I was reflecting on these conversations and remembered a strategy I learned during my training to become a psychosocial coach. It’s also mentioned in a book we were assigned years later during a senior management program.
So I felt the need to share some thoughts on how to best navigate tough times. It doesn’t matter if you’re a manager on the brink of burnout, a patient with a serious diagnosis, or an athlete facing months of rehab; crises usually come from external factors we cannot control. We can’t influence these factors—they are out of our hands. I will come back to that.
Cognitive Tunnel Vision
Today, let’s talk about how to get through a crisis and see the light at the end of the tunnel. In a crisis, we often develop “cognitive tunnel vision”, focusing only on what is dragging us down. We struggle to see the positive because we are overwhelmed by negativity. It feels like we are investing all our energy but making no progress, which makes the ultimate goal seem impossible or too far away.
The Stockdale Paradox
Just thinking positively isn’t enough.
The Stockdale Paradox—named after James Stockdale, a high-ranking naval officer who spent seven years as a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War—teaches us something vital.
When Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, interviewed Stockdale, he asked who didn’t make it out of the camps. Surprisingly, Stockdale answered, “The optimists”. That shocked me the first time I heard it, because I always considered myself a big optimist. Or at least, that is what I thought I was.
The first people to break were the optimists who believed they’d be freed by Christmas, then Easter, then Thanksgiving. When those dates passed without rescue, they died of a broken heart.
“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.” — Admiral James Stockdale
The lesson is that you must separate faith from timelines. You need an unwavering belief that you will succeed in the end, while simultaneously possessing the discipline to face the harsh realities of your current situation without flinching.
Blind Optimism vs. Grounded Hope
In leadership and endurance sports, we distinguish between these two:
Blind Optimism
Ignores the difficulty and heaviness of the task, leading to a “crash” when reality hits.
Grounded Hope (The Paradox)
Accepts the brutal fact that current situation is incredibly difficult while maintaining a rock-solid belief that the ultimate goal will be achieved.
How to Apply This
During therapy or any challenging time, setbacks are normal. They are as certain as the “amen” at the end of a prayer—they will come. You need a belief so strong that it helps you look past these hurdles. Let´s tackle this step-by-step:
Remove yourself from the timeline
Whether you’re a manager struggling with quarterly numbers, an athlete in rehab, or a patient undergoing months of treatment—stop tying your hope to a specific date. Free yourself from the pressure of a fixed time commitment. I know this sounds tough and impossible!
Define what you can control
I promised to come back to the fact that we cannot control the external factors that lead to a crisis. However, we always have the option to focus on something within our reach. James Stockdale, for instance, created a simple “tap code” so prisoners could communicate through walls. As a manager, you can focus on constructive 1:1s with your team members. As a patient, you can focus on reading one book per month. As an athlete, you can focus to learn more about biohacking to support your recovery. These are just examples. Find something simple that you can control and own it.
Radical acceptance of “crappy” feelings
Stop sugarcoating things. Accept reality as it is. Reality might be that you won’t turn the team around immediately, that therapy won’t end after the second cycle, or that your torn ACL means missing the entire season. It’s tough. It’s hard. But you must accept it!
This approach will help you move through your crisis. But there is one more thing you should do:
Turn the “impossible” goal into a side effect
Stop obsessing over reaching one specific goal at one specific time and focus on the “WHY” behind it.
Managers: Think about your impact as a leader rather than just hitting numbers next quarter.
Athletes: Focus on your long-term legacy rather than just the daily grind of rehab.
Patients: Think about what gives you hope—whether it’s walking your daughter down the aisle or finishing the book you’ve always wanted to write.
By focusing on your “WHY”, immediate challenges become secondary side effects. This approach helps you step out of crisis mode by finding your bigger purpose.
One book that I can highly recommend and that has helped me after my cancer therapy is the Big Five for Life from John Strelecky. Enjoy reading it!
All the best,
Bernhard
P.S. I’m currently on a multi-year journey to swim The Alpine Seven—339 km across seven iconic lakes—to prove that our maps are always bigger than we think. If you want to join me as I navigate these waters and share what I learn about leadership, resilience, and turning “impossible” goals into reality, hit the button below.
Subscribe for more reflections on leadership, crisis, and building a life where “impossible” goals become a side effect!
P.P.S. I plan to send this out every Friday morning 5 am CET. But as this is a human-to-human connection, please bear with me if life (or my kids) decides to “reorganize” my schedule. I’m a pretty good swimmer, but I haven’t figured out how to swim through a family emergency at a good speed yet! 😉
